Monday, December 04, 2006

Random Thoughts

It's funny how you find someone who knows just what to say. At the right place. At the right time. How he becomes your happiness, knowing that having him in your life was the best thing that ever happened to you. Suddenly you hear the lines, "How did you know, I needed someone like you in my life..." And, somehow you become amazed that all these are happening NOT within the context of falling in love, being in love, or somewhere else in between. All you know is you need to be with him. Forever.
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The story happens when someone you like becomes someone you cannot live without. Maybe that is love, maybe it's not. How do we tell the difference, when falling inlove, as difficult as it is, becomes even more complicated because of circumstantial events you tend to over-analyze?
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You thought you were falling inlove. You cannot empty your thoughts of visions of you and him, together living a blissful life. He calls you up, and you fight the urge to sound giggly and mega-excited. You fight the feeling, but both of you knowing you are truly compatible leaves you defenseless. You struggle to move on, for it's not just meant to be. He is with someone else. Someone else more compatible with him than you are with him. And he cannot break it up. He will not break it up. For you.
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Then you think of all the reasons why. You grope for all ways on how you will not lose him, because you cannot simply live without him. You laugh at how pathetic you are, and pride yourself with the thought that you are not worthy of all this nonsense. But there is this nagging voice telling you you have shared so much, would you let it all go down the drain? You get a headache. Loving was not as simple as it used to be, loving wasn't supposed to weaken you. Love was supposed to inspire. To nurture. Make you strong. Grow in wisdom.
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Of course, loving is not all that bad. You search your heart and found a spot waiting for him. We can be friends, you thought, so you will not lose him forever. Loving isn't necessarily marrying someone. You still end up together. As friends. But you still end up together. Just as you hoped for, remember?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

sister, i truly, madly sympathize with your sentiments..ano ba e suki din ako ng ganyang mga scams! relate na relate ko yan..kung baket ba naman kasi...hmp!

leche! ano bang friends-friends na lang? kalokohan yan to the max! madami na tayong friends no! what we need is LUV! everybody needs to luv and be luved!

yebah! amen to that!